I am sick. Spewing germs like a fountain. Sniffling and sneezing and coughing... I left work early yesterday, but had to be in today, since we are shortstaffed. You know it's bad when random strangers are leaning close, patting your shoulder, and saying "You look terrible. You should go home!" Oy. I want this cold/flu/plague/curse to go away! I have plans next weekend, nice ones, and I do not want to be a coughing, sniffling mess. Plus, my nose hurts.
So. Since I'm sure you don't want to know the details of the illness, a Friday Five:
1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why?
Was Speed Racer a superhero? Because I had one hell of a crush on him. Shut up, I was too young to know he wasn't real. Other than that, I don't know. I wasn't into the superhero thing; most of them scared me. I do like the Powerpuff Girls a lot now, though. I secretly wish I was Buttercup.
2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?
A Big Wheel. I wanted one desperately, but my parents wouldn't buy me one, and it's my brother's fault He's 3 1/2 years older than me, and had one. When he was four or five years old, he was out riding it behind our house. My mom was watching him through the kitchen window, and saw him riding as fast as he could, right toward the back end of a parked pickup truck, while looking back over his shoulder. I think she said the tailgate on the truck was lowered, and she was too far away to stop him. She watched, certain that he was going to crash throat-first into the tailgate. He hit the back tire instead, and the Big Wheel disintegrated -- he ended up sitting on the asphalt holding the steering wheel and looking bewildered. She went outside, gathered up the pieces, threw them in the Dumpster, and that was that. No Big Wheel for me. I'm scarred for like. Mom, expect some therapy bills!
3. What's the furthest from home you've been?
Hmmm... probably Florida, visiting my grandparents. I need to travel more.
4. What's one thing you've always wanted to learn but haven't yet?
So many things... to make jewelry. To speak French. To snowboard. To knit a sweater.
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Well, since I'm sick (damn it!) I plan to sleep. I may wake up to make tea, but I certainly don't plan on being showered or dressed much. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow, because I want to visit with Lee for a bit, but since I just coughed so hard I nearly knocked my chair over backwards, I'm doubtful. She just got over bronchitis; the last thing she needs is to catch my disease. Sigh.
First the Friday Five:
1. What is one thing you don't like about your body?
I have to choose just one thing? I guess it would be my stomach. It was fairly flat once, many ages ago, and now it's definitely not. I'm also not fond of the double chin that's determined to grow on my face -- it's currently making me avoid looking in the mirror. Also, I wish my hair was thicker, and that it would grow faster.
2. What are two things you love about your body?
My eyes, because they're nicely shaped and very expressive. I also like my skin, even though it's very dry at the moment.
3. What are three things you want to change about your home?
I wish I owned it instead of renting (though maybe not this particular home, since it needs a lot of expensive repair work). I'd have a gas stove instead of electric -- I hate cooking on an electric stove. And I would have a garden in the back yard, instead of a bare patch of dirt. There's a large tree in the yard that blocks all the sun, so nothing grows back there, not even weeds.
4. What are four books you want to read this year?
The new Harry Potter. I want to finish this book about Tolkien, because it's very good -- I can't remember why I stopped reading it. The Silmarillion, keeping with the Tolkien -- I've started it many times, and never managed to finish it. And the book I'm reading now, Ella Minnow Pea.
5. What are five promises you have kept to yourself?
Hmm. To leave my unpleasant ex-husband, and not look back. To stop spending so much money. To work on paying down my staggering credit card bills -- I've made small progress, but small is okay. To finish school. To stop being so hard on myself, to be more comfortable in my skin, and to try to stop doubting it when people tell me I'm pretty. (Okay, so I'm not doing well on that last one, but I am trying.)
This week sucked. Truly, deeply, sucked. There were unpleasantly crazy people to deal with at work -- one guy who spent a very long time yelling onscenities and racial slurs into a cell phone, so I had to make him leave, and immediately after that, a student who became really angry at me for no apparent reason, and then told a coworker of mine (who is none too stable, and doesn't like me anyway) that he was going to complain about me to my boss -- that one's a long story, and it's hard to explain it because I honestly don't know why the guy was so upset with me. This cartoon made me laugh until I cried yesterday -- it's now taped to the printer at my desk. I've also been having a low-grade anxiety attack since Monday, for no reason at all. Work is somewhat busier now, but not unmanageable. My mom thinks it's the weather -- it's been brutally cold here (single digits, wind chills of -20) and since the heat doesn't work well in the library, I'm cold all day, so I just want to stay home. I think that, when the weather is so bad that being outdoors for any length of time could result in death, people should be allowed to stay home in bed all day. I may lobby for that to be a law.
The anxiety hasn't been fun. I'll be fine, then have a sudden sharp wave of dizziness, followed by shaking hands and the feeling that I can't quite breathe. It makes me feel panicky and disoriented. Occasionally, I get a quick sharp pain in my chest -- I've had these for years, though, so I know that there's nothing wrong with my heart, and I'm not dying. The attacks make me feel like I am, though, and it's hard to control them when I'm at work and can't go somewhere quiet to sit and relax until it passes. I'm also grinding my teeth in my sleep again -- I know, because my lower front teeth are throbbing, and I can't chew anything. I apparently clench my teeth like crazy in my sleep. It may well be the weather -- being cold makes me very tired, and I haven't been sleeping well. I know my mom and a couple of friends have been feeling the same way. I think a good long sleep tonight (and much of tomorrow) will help with that. I've had these attacks since college, and they aren't fun, but they do pass after a while. I don't want to have to go on medication for them, because the last time I tried that, I felt sick all the time. So, for now, I take deep breaths and try to just let it run its course.
Anyway. On the good side, a woman hugged me and said "Oh, you're beautiful!" when I found an article she needed. She'd been using a tricky database, and couldn't find it, and her boss was hounding her. So that was nice. My cat's chin-thing is healing nicely -- I pinned her down, scrubbed it, and dabbed some Bacitracin on it. Now it's scabby, and must itch, because she keeps trying to rub it on me. Yes, she is gross. I had a glowing job review recently, and the promise of a raise -- a small one, yes, but money is money, and I need it. My student loans come off forbearance soon. I just talked to a friend I haven't seen in months -- we talked until we were both hoarse, and the phone felt like it was permanently attached to my ear. I don't see her nearly often enough. And now, I may head off for that long sleep.
My cat has zits, it seems. I just spent 20 minutes fending off her claws and teeth to clean a nasty, oozing lump on her chin. I noticed it last night, while loafing and watching the Golden Globes -- her chin was visibly swollen, and obviously sore. She usually likes to be scritched on the chin, but she pulled away when I tried to touch it, and drew a large quantity of blood from my hand when I tried to look at her chin. (She bit me, hard, and then leaned her head against my arm as if to say "I'm sorry, but that hurt." It was very cute.) I had Lee help me look at it tonight, and then pinned her down in my lap (the cat, not Lee. I don't think I'd be able to pin Lee so easily.) and washed her chin with soap and hot water, and a bit of peroxide, and then dabbed a tiny bit of Bacitracin on it. The lump on her chin opened when I washed it, and leaked some yellow goo, and then some blood, but it's smaller now, and seems to feel better. She seems happier, and let me rub her chin a bit. I'm going to watch her for a couple of days, and if it doesn't improve, we're off to the vet. It may have been a scratch that got infected, or she's got acne. Thus the entry title. I felt awful cleaning her chin, because I knew it was hurting her, but it had to be done. If anyone has any advice, please do leave a comment; I'd be happy to hear any suggestions.
My neighbor's girlfriend, the one who was doing all the screaming I mentioned in my last entry, moved out yesterday. The fight lasted until 12:45 Saturday morning, when I started slamming dorrs and stomping around. I'd crept out onto the porch to try to make sure no one was being hurt -- the noise was very scary -- and it sounded like she was the one slamming doors and throwing things, while my neighbor tried to settle her down. They were silent all day Saturday, and then started with the screaming and door-slamming again Sunday, until she started loading her car up with armfuls of clothes and such, and left. They break up once a month or so, so she may be back. If she does return, and the screaming starts up again, I plan to call the police. I have no patience for adults who have to air their differences so loudly that the whole street can hear them.
Other than that, not much is going on. It's damn cold. I'm tired. I should get off the computer and go to bed. Oh, and welcome, new readers! If you haven't already, drop me a note and say hello. Also, I highly recommend joining the notify list, as I am often lazy about updating.
I'm tired. My eyes, they don't want to stay open. I haven't been sleeping well -- falling asleep far too late, having odd, vivid dreams, and waking up long before the alarm. I should really be in bed now, but I feel a bit restless and bored, too, so I'm staying up.
Lee lent me the first three seasons of The Sopranos, and I've been watching episodes every evening, while knitting. That may be the source of the bad dreams -- I don't remember much about them, but they're violent, and somewhat bloody. Not scary, though -- I think I realize, while I'm dreaming, that it is only a dream, and thus it doesn't scare me. I don't have nightmares often anyway, and when I do, I usually realize at some point in the dream that it isn't real.
I stayed up too late last night reading Empire Falls -- I bought it the other day because I'd heard and read a lot of positive things about it, and I'm loving it so far. It's one of those books that pulls me in, and makes me want to sit and read for hours. I'm about 2/3 of the way through it, and now I'm avoiding finishing it. Why? Because I like it so much I don't want it to end. Even though I have another good book waiting for me (Ella Minnow Pea, which was a Christmas present from Lee. Hey look, that rhymes!)
I think the thing I like the most about Empire Falls is the way Russo portrays his characters -- he has a few that are unlikeable, and one that's downright repulsive, but he makes you like them anyway, or at least feel some sympathy for them. I'm always interested when an author can make me feel affection for an unlikeable character. (I also think that's why I'm enjoying The Sopranos, too.) When it works, I usually end up loving the book. When it doesn't, I end up hurling the book across the room. I ended up doing that with The Corrections, because I hated every single one of the characters so much. They were all uniformly horrible -- selfish, and self-centered, and stupid, and not one of them had a single redeeming quality. They weren't even funny, the way the most unlikeable character in Empire Falls is. They were just sad, and pathetic, and wrong, and I stopped reading the book 3/4 of the way through it because I just didn't care what happened to them. I never stop reading books once I've started -- I even read Hannibal cover-to-cover, and I hated that one, too. (But at least that one was amusing. The Corrections bored me, when I wasn't feeling nauseated by the characters.) So, a thumbs up for Empire Falls, and one copy of The Corrections chucked across the room.
I'm a little scattered at the moment, and feeling very glad I didn't decide to go to bed early, because my neighbors are having a huge fight. Screaming, slamming doors, throwing things, the whole works. It's making me a bit nervous -- like, wondering how long I should wait to call the cops nervous. If I knew them better, I'd knock on the door and suggest they take a time-out, since it is after 11 and all. But I don't really know them, and I don't want to get caught up in the drama. They're so loud, my cat is freaked out. They do this about once a month, so it's not a new thing, but this fight seems to be a doozy. Ah, drama. Perhaps some more loud TV is what I need.
The Friday Five...
1. Where are you right now?
At work, taking a wee break from putting books on Reserve for next term.
2. What time is it?
At the moment, it is 11:30 a.m., though it'll be later by the time I get around to posting this.
3. What are you wearing?
Black underwear and bra, black socks, my Doc Marterns (also black), jeans, a sweater that looks like ass on me (black, with a blue snowflake-type pattern in a stripe around the chest. I like it, but it doesn't like me. It's baggy in weird places, and makes my ass look like it should have its own zip code.), one silver ring, a silver necklace, five silver earrings, and my watch.
4. Any people or animals around you? Describe them.
There are a bunch of people around -- three or four coworkers, a few students, and a photocopier repairman. No animals, alas.
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
Tonight, I'm going out with some coworkers for margaritas. I'll likely go home early, and try to figure out why my Sims game keeps crashing. Tomorrow, I have to work most of the day, which I'm not looking forward to. After work, I'll go home, eat dinner, and watch Trading Spaces, and hopefully play with non-crashing Sims. Sunday, I plan to try to sleep off my cold, and then do laundry, grocery shop, and cook something. Because that's the rock and roll lifestyle I lead.
The Friday Five was one I liked this week, so I'm posting it late.
1. Do you wear any jewelry? What kind?
I wear five earrings, all silver: a small round stud in the upper cartilage of my left ear, a pair of tiny silver stars, and a pair of silver hoops. I also wear my very battered Swatch watch on my left wrist, a silver Claddaugh (sp?) ring, heart facing out, on my right ring finger, and a silver chain around my neck.
2. How often do you wear it?
Every day, without fail. I feel funny if I forget to put any of the above on.
3. Do you have any piercings? If so, where?
Only my ears. I thought about piercing my nose for my birthday, but chickened out.
4. Do you have any tattoos? If so, where?
I have three -- a black cat on my right bicep, an angel on my left bicep, and the Kanjii symbol for Dream on my left ankle. I love them all, but the angel is my favorite.
5. What are your plans for the weekend?
On Friday night, I have to go have drinks with a soon-to-be-former coworker. Saturday, I have to work from 11-6. Sunday, I'll need to do laundry and grocery shop. I don't really want to do any of it, as I'm coming down with a cold, and feel like ass on toast.
I want more vacation. A week is just not long enough.
I got home from Vermont yesterday -- I would have updated, but Greymatter hates me, and wouldn't let me. Feh. My week at mom's was great -- the bus ride was peaceful, except for the idiot who kept spraying himself with Eau de Ass cologne every half hour. He started in the terminal, and I started sneezing right after. I don't know what was up with him and the cologne, but I fell asleep briefly, and woke up to a cloud of stench, with my eyes itching and swelling. What would possess someone to spray smelly shit on a bus? Anyway. Uneventful, except for Cologne Guy.
The bus arrived in Vermont right on time (a minor miracle, that) and my mom whisked me off home. My brother and his girlfriend were there, Mom said -- they'd arrived later than planned because they'd stopped to buy something. She didn't say what, and I didn't really wonder -- I figured they'd show me when I got there. And they did -- the lovely vintage engagement ring on my brother's girlfriend's finger. Yay! They stopped at an estate sale, and bought the ring -- it's from the '40s, and is beautiful. I had no idea they were planning to get engaged, so it was the first of many happy surprises. I love my brother's fiancé -- she's very sweet, and funny, and didn't run away shrieking from my odd family. They fit together well, and I know they're going to be very happy, for a very long time.
Once I got there, we had dinner, and then tore into the presents under the tree. I got a book of knitted hat patterns, piles of candy, books, Sims expansion packs, a set of containers for my kitchen, a calendar... I'm forgetting things, here. My soon-to-be sister in law gave me sister-related gifts, which made me teary-eyed. We played with our new loot, and then went to the dining room for one of our usual marathon Uno games. We play with no mercy, and laugh until we all feel sick. (An excerpt from the game, after my mom had dealt her fourth Draw Four card on me: Me: "What, do you hate me or something?" Her: "Yes! I mean no! No! I didn't mean that!" Me: "I wonder if I still have my therapist's phone number...") We went to bed late, and slept in a little, until M. and M. (Hee. M and M.) had to go home. Mom and I went to the mall later, and exchanged a duplicate gift (both she and Lee gave me The Sims: Unleashed, so I exchanged it for Silent Hill 2. Unfortunately, I've discovered I need a new graphics card to play it. Anyone got a GeForce 4 card they want to donate to my entertainment?)
Monday and Tuesday, Mom went to work and I loafed around the house. I started learning to knit a sock, and finished rereading The Lord of the Rings, and watched mindless daytime TV. Boring, yes. My dream vacation? Hell, yeah. Wednesday, Mom and I lolled about on her bed and watched the extended Fellowship of the Ring, then went to Wal-Mart so I could buy my own copy. I also got the next lovely surprise Wednesday -- this news made me laugh, and cry, and just made my whole year. I love Claire and Josh dearly, and I can't imagine a better couple. Except maybe my brother and his girlfriend. :-)
Thursday, I loafed more, and Friday, Mom took off work early so we could have a birthday lunch and movie day. (I'm 30. Egad.) We got excellent Chinese from a place that's been open downtown for years and years, and went to the 4 o'clock showing of The Two Towers. I liked it better this time, the second time around, in spite of the people behind us who wouldn't shut up. (I feel that people who talk during movies should have their mouths stapled shut.) When we left, it was snowing, and we waited to see if the weather would be too bad for me to go home Saturday. It was; more than a foot of snow, and it was still falling the next day. I stayed at her house until Sunday, and then caught the bus -- uneventful, again, until halfway through the trip when a woman and a screaming toddler got on the bus, and sat behind me. The kid screamed for two and a half hours. Thank God for loud headphones.
So. I'm back, work is again making me crazy, and my cat won't leave me alone. Happy New Year, all!