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October 14, 2003
Boo!
Wow, look at that. It's been almost a month. How the time does fly.
I wish I could say I hadn't updated because I've been busy doing fabulous things, but alas, I'm boring. I've been, er, watching a lot of TV. And knitting a lot, making scarves for the 3WA Craft Fair next month. I have five done already, and am working on the 6th. (Oh, and you don't have to be a 3WA member to buy stuff from the craft fair. Come on, you nknow you need a nive fluffy warm scarf... winter's coming, you know!)
Jeff and I went to Vermont for the weekend, to loaf around and visit my mom. He picked me up at work at 1 o'clock on Friday, and we headed out. It was a good day for a road trip -- sunny and clear and cool -- until we hit massive traffic on 93. We got off the highway and found a gas station that sold maps, hoping to find an alternate route... but the alternate route had worse traffic, so we got right back on 93 to discover that the traffic had gone poof, and it was clear sailing. We made good time to Claremont, NH, where I needed to stop to shop for Mom's birthday present. There's a huge Wal-Mart in Claremont, and I had my heart set on buying her a bread machine. So, we stopped, and foraged around in the kitchen gadgets aisle, looking for the seemingly non-existant bread machines, and finding none. We asked a saleswoman, and she paged another salesperson, who never arrived. That was okay, though, because while we waited for the invisible salesperson, I found one lonely bread machine hiding behind a display of dish towels. It was the model I wanted, and at a better price than I was expecting. Hurrah! Jeff went and found a cart while I guarded my bread machine, and juggled two bread mixes. Paid, called mom to tell her we'd be late, did not blurt out what her present was, and we were off. Jeff very kindly did not laugh (much) at my scheming on how best to surprise my mom with her gift -- it was too big to wrap, see, and mom is the sort of person who will walk out to the car to say hi. I got him to agree to wait outside until I could wrangle Mom back indoors and make her sit at the table with her eyes shut, whereupon he put the bread machine on the table, and I told her when she could look. She was satisfyingly pleased, and all was well, at least until she tried to actually make bread. See, she misunderstood wwhat Express Bakne meant, and used a wheat bread mix, which does not like Express Bake, and thus didn't rise. An hour after starting the machine, we had a lovely whole wheat hockey puck. A bread doorstop. Wheat bread likes to take its time rising, it seems. Hrm. Okay, toss that one out, try the white bread mix, on the regular cycle... except the machine balked, and just beeped loudly and angrily at us whenever we hit stop, until I swore very loudly and unplugged the fucker. Ahem. (Jeff, wisely, had retired to Mom's room to watch baseball by then.) Got the beeping stopped, started the machine, went in for a lovely cuddle with Jeff... and then Mom said, in tones of deep dismay, "It's making noises like it's kneading, but the mix isn't moving!" Well, fuck. Went in to check... the mix was not moving. Stopped the machine again, and tried to sort out the problem. We were stumped until I said "You did make sure the kneading paddle-thing was in the machine, right?" Blank stare, and then Mom and I both turned to stare at the trash can. Fished the whole-wheat doorstop out, turned it over, and voila, there was the paddle. Jeff, showing great restraint, did not get back in his car and drive far, far away from the two crazy women in the kitchen clutching each other and howling with laughter at that point. (Shut up. It was funny!) Carefully put the paddle into the machine, started it up again, and three hours later... yay, bread!
Aside from the bread escapades, we had a good, relaxing weekend. On Saturday, we went to the farmer's market downtown and bought yummy salsa, and then went yarn-shopping, and then to the local arts festival, where I bought very addictive cinnamon-sugar coated almonds. Mmmm. It was hot that day -- about 80, and we had packed clothes for fall. So, sweatiness ensued. We browsed until we were worn out, and then hit the Salvation Army store, where I bought a Vermont Country Store flannel robe for five bucks, just because it was there. (It was brand-new! And very cozy! And cheap!)
Sunday, we slept late while Mom went off to teach Sunday School, then got our lazy asses dressed and went to Manchester to shop a bit more. Jeff was patient while Mom and I browsed a terribly expensive yarn shop -- at one point, I picked up an enormous skein of beautiful, shiny, frothy pink yarn, then gasped in horror at the price tag -- $195.00. Granted, it was a huge ball of yarn, but still. I put it down and backed away slowly. After that, we hit The Jelly Mill where we browsed and bought candy (strawberry licorice whips for Jeff, Jelly Belly jelly beans for me) and were annoyed by people. We hit a couple of other shops, then went back home, tired but happy. The drive there and back was worth it -- the trees were at peak color, and were breathtaking. I took it for granted, living there for so long, but damn, Vermont is pretty right about now. Every view is a postcard shot, you know? It's unbelievable that something so pretty could exist, but there it is. And the best bit? We stopped at the grocery store in Rutland for bread machine mixes for Mom's new toy, and margarita fixings for Jeff and me -- it was all dreary and rainy when we got there, but when we left the store, the clouds had parted to let shafts of sunlight filter through onto the mountains. It was very, very pretty, indeed -- and then Mom pointed out the rainbow arcing over the mountains. I wish I'd had my camera -- it was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Pretty enough that I couldn't breathe for a second. Pretty enough to make me want to say "Screw my job, I'm quitting and moving back here, just to have the chance to see something like that more often."
So. It was a good weekend. There was also Uno and Trivial Pursuit (best moment: Mom thrying to say "The WB network" and having it come out "The Wubble-you Bee Network") and more baseball, and petting the dog and cat, and just generally relaxing. Which I needed after being stressed out... because I had a weird job interview last week. Good, but weird. I loved the library, but the interview was odd, and I have a strong gut feeling I won't be hearing from them, and let's just not talk about it, okay? Okay.
Posted by Mary Ellen at October 14, 2003 10:14 PM
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Comments
I can't tell you how many times I've done that, with the paddle.
You know what else doesn't work? Substituting leftover red wine for the water in the mix. (Acidity? What's that?) You end up with bright purple dwarf bread.
Posted by: Joanne at October 14, 2003 11:01 PM
Ha! I'll pass that on to mom. :-}
Posted by: Mary Ellen at October 14, 2003 11:04 PM
2 days ago I was searching on the web for "I hate my landlord" and stumbled upon this site....whoa! I never realized there were sites like this out there(ok I am new at this) the first 50 or so entries I was glued to, and then I started flipping forward to see if it was updated and it is! and yes the fall colors are unbelievable.
Posted by: maggie at October 15, 2003 10:52 PM
Aw, thank you! The updates, they are rare. I recommend the notify list, because I am a lazy girl. The colors were pretty indeed, and I hope you don't have traumatic reasons for hating your landlord!
Posted by: Mary Ellen at October 15, 2003 10:56 PM
Baby, I wouldn't have driven far, far away. However, there is a difference between "funny" and "blindingly hysterical", which this was.
Also, wasn't I supposed to fix some door hinges?
Posted by: Jeff at October 15, 2003 11:20 PM
When we were frantically searching for the paddle, I heard Jeff's voice coming from the bedroom saying "It's in the bread."
I fixed the door hinges myself. It's amazing what you can do with a butter knife and a high-heeled shoe.
Posted by: Mom at October 17, 2003 08:32 AM
Ha! I didn't hear that. And yeah, I once built a bookcase with nothing but a butter knife and a shoe.
Posted by: Mary Ellen at October 17, 2003 08:36 AM
Loved your encounter with the bread-making machine. In Manchester UK, the ugly monsters invaded our stores last Christmas and you have inspired me never to fall into the trap of owning one. You can only get so many lethal white boxes in one kitchen anyway. Why is it that the most magical landscapes and skies taunt us in the absence of convincing evidence? Can even the most exotic words ever do them justice? Please never snap a rainbow or sunset unless you have a camera to die for, a degree in photography and a haversack full of snazzy filters. The quick and cheap shot will convince anyone you're daft enough to show it to that you're completely barking mad. I know this only too well!
Posted by: Chris Smethurst at October 17, 2003 01:22 PM
Ha! The Case of the Disappearing Dough Paddle! That's hilarious!
You ought to install a web cam at your mom's house, then charge admission to watch. I'd pay cash money to spy on y'all makin' bread! ;)
Posted by: Fred at October 30, 2003 03:34 PM
Hee! I should. I bet I could get a tiny one and hide it...
Posted by: Mary Ellen at October 30, 2003 04:08 PM