Because I'm a masochist? Because I'm nuts? Because it just seemed like a good idea at the time? I haven't updated in ages -- though I've thought wistfully about it -- because all I really have time to do is homework. Because my professors are evil, mean, rotten people. Really. And, well, because I procrastinated, and now I barely have enough time to finish all this stuff I have to do. Part of it really was my continuing lack of a computer at home -- hopefully, that will change within the next couple of weeks. When Beth is home, she's usually working, and since it is her computer, she gets first dibs on using it. I've been staying at work late almost every night, trying to resist the temptation of Snood and get some work done. There's just one assignment that's kicking my ass right now -- I've done all the easy questions, and am down to the six (out of 20) that I just can't figure out how to do. I'm a bit worried about asking the professor for help, as he's the type who rarely gives a straight answer.
Other than the homework, I have been doing remarkably little. I watched the Oscars with Lee and Patrick last night, after Lee very nicely drove me to the mall so I could buy a new quilt (with cats on it! It's cute!) and some candles, since I'm feeling the need to revamp my room right now. And to write very long run-on sentences, apparently. I had to turn into a pumpkin fairly early, because I'd gotten very little sleep Saturday night, and I had a phone call to make. I also got very little sleep last night, so I'm tired, and I still have work to do -- if I survive until Thursday, when this stupid project is due, I will be a very happy girl.
I missed the last few awards last night -- I watched them, but on mute, so I didn't hear the speeches. I liked the fact that the show was shorter than usual, but I really wish they had cut the musical numbers instead of the speeches. The dance sequence during the awful song from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was just scary, and I was confused by the whole Randy Newman song -- why were the backup singers dressed like characters from a Dr. Seuss book? And what was with the disco ball? I really liked Bjork's dead/stuffed swan dress, though. Hey, she's Bjork, she's allowed to wear big dead swans if she feels like it. I was truly frightened of Jennifer Lopez -- why was she orange and greasy-looking? And I never, ever needed to see her nipples. Gah. I'm still wondering if Russell Crowe's glowering at Steve Martin was meant to be a joke in itself, or if he was really angry, or just very, very nervous.
Feh -- I should do more homework now. I'm about ready to start bribing people to do it for me -- any takers?
This sort of set the tone for today: there is a retired professor who often comes to the library where I work. He's very sweet and friendly, probably in his mid-80s, and stone-deaf. he has to shout everything at the top of his voice, because even with hearing aids, he can't hear a thing. He came into the library this morning to pick up a book he'd requested -- as I was checking it out to him, he suddenly bellowed "LOOK! IT'S A VIRGIN!!" Luckily, I realized he was referring to the book (which had, apparently, never been borrowed before -- there were no old date due stamps in the back) before I replied "Who? Me? No I'm not!" My coworker and I managed to keep from bursting out laughing until he got outside... he was so loud, I bet there were people all over the library looking around and wondering who was doing the virgin-spotting, and why. (And, you know, hearing this sweet elderly man say anything even remotely sexual was just deeply disturbing...)
I was wide awake and giddy at 5 o'clock this morning -- strange, since I had gotten only about 4 hours sleep at that point. I didn't want to get up, since it was cold and dark and rainy, so I petted my very happy cat for a while, then fell asleep again right before the alarm went off. I have been tired and cranky and headachey ever since.
I took yesterday off work, since I knew I wouldn't want to go in after spending most of Sunday on a Greyhound bus. I wanted the extra day to waste, so I slept in, watched bad daytime TV in my pajamas for an obscene amount of time, and then headed over to the mall -- see, I have this change jar on my dresser. It's huge, and, since May, I have been tossing all of my loose change into it. Initially, i wanted to use it for laundry quarters, but I always end up with eighty pounds of loose coins in my pockets, and in the bottom of my bag, and rattling around in my wallet, so I just sort of started collecting it. I decided that, when the jar was full, I'd take the money and blow it on something fun -- no necessities, something I didn't need and wouldn't ordinarily buy. I counted and rolled the coins on Sunday night (because that's the exciting life I lead. You want to be me.) and found that i had fifty bucks. Woo hoo! So, I went to the mall and blew it on a very, very pretty Swatch watch. It's all aluminum and shiny and lovely -- I had a decent watch, but the band annoyed me (it was plastic, and always either too loose or too tight) and, well, my evil ex gave it to me. I liked it and all, but I hated wearing something he gave me every day, and I can't stand not having a watch on, so I figured it was the perfect thing to shop for. And I love my pretty new watch... go on, ask me what time it is!
Rest and relaxation. No work, no school, no worries. I'm in Vermont, at my mom's (and not looking after her this time). I'm on spring break from school, and figured what the hell, may as well go somewhere where the snow is even deeper!
I left Boston Wednesday afternoon -- skipped out of work at 3, and hopped on the 4 o'clock Greyhound. The ride was blissfully uneventful -- I put on my headphones, looked out the window, napped, woke up to change CDs, napped some more, looked out the window... the bus arrived late, as usual, because the driver didn't seem to understand that the big pedal on the right makes the bus go faster. But other than that, it was all Radiohead and snoozing. Got home, got fed (Mom cooking! Yippee!) petted the cats and dog, and went to bed. Thursday my mom had to work, so I slept in, played on the computer (with no worries about being caught by my boss!) and wandered down to my favorite record store, where I spent far too much time and money in high school. I always had a crush on the owner, and was always pestering him to give me a job... sadly, he never seemed to notice me. Alas... I did buy a Pixies CD, and a Radiohead video I've been pining for. Mom and I wandered around the mall for a bit, and then got lovely Chinese food for dinner. Today, I slept in again while my mom took the car in for an oil change, and then we wandered around Fair Haven and downtown Rutland. Bought two more CDs (The Man Who by Travis and Severe Tire Damage by They Might Be Giants) and a copy of X-Men for ten bucks. Spent the afternoon downloading Snood for my mom, and playing with the pets, and generally loafing around. I'm planning to do it again tomorrow, woo woo! Hey, it may not make for exciting entries, but I'm enjoying myself...
No, really. Dumb as a post, that's me. Last night should offer very convincing proof. I'm trying to tell myself that it all happened because I was tired, and distracted because of the drama that is Survivor, but really, I'm just a moron.
I had class last night, and it was possibly the most boring three hours of my life. Basically, we sat and watched the instructor do searches on a database. Three hours. They weren't even intersting searches. The boredom was painful. After class, I straggled home, and watched Survivor, and decided to get ready for bed at around 11:30 or so. You know I'm taking the Wellbutrin, right? I'm also taking melatonin at night, since I have trouble falling asleep most nights. The doctor had assured me it was fine to take both, so I wasn't really worried about it. The problem is, on a few occasions, I've caught myself reaching for the Wellbutrin bottle instead of the melatonin at night. So, last night, I got ready for bed, and took the melatonin, and went off to bed. About twenty minutes later, as I was lying in bed petting the cat, I started feeling dizzy -- very disconcerting when you're lying down, unless you're drunk, of course. I sat up, and got much dizzier, and felt like I was going to faint. I got up, and turned on the light (feeling sick isn't quite as scary with the lights on, you know) and sat on the bed for a few minutes, trying to clear my head and figure out what was wrong... Wait a minute... did I take the wrong pill? I couldn't remember -- I thought I'd taken the melatonin, but I could easily have grabbed the wrong bottle. I kept feeling worse -- and was fairly scared, too -- so I figured the best thing might be to, er, try to get rid of the pill. You really don't need details of that, do you? That done, I went back to bed, in hopes that the dizziness would pass. It didn't -- it got worse, and I got all shaky and cold. About that point, I called the poison control center, and explained to the very nice woman who answered that I was a moron who had likely taken an extra dose of Wellbutrin. She told me I was even more of an idiot for making myself throw up (oh, I wasn't going to gross you out with that... sorry...) because that would only make things worse. She did assure me that I wasn't going to die, but that there was a good chance that I might have a seizure. Oh, joy. She asked if I was home alone, and I told her the cat was home with me -- she wasn't amused, really. I told her I did have someone to call if I felt worse, and she told me to go back to bed, and pet my cat until I fell asleep. I tried that, but it's hard to sleep when you're afraid you might have a seizure, you know? I finally fell asleep at around 4, woke up briefly to call in sick to work at 6, and slept until the downstairs neighbor's stereo woke me up at 8:30. I'm fine now, I didn't die or anything -- I'm just a dumbass. Really, I should be supervised at all times.
Today has been an okay day off -- I got an unexpected phone call from a friend in England -- one of Barry's friends, in fact. I don't know whether they're still in touch, and I don't really want to know. I'm really happy that we have stayed friends -- in fact, we're closer now that Barry and I are divorced. I spent the afternoon wandering around downtown Boston, getting some errands done.
I also found out that my brother is having a really rough time right now -- I'm scared for him, because he's just so down, and there's nothing I can do. He's too far away to visit, and a phone call doesn't do a lot. I don't think he realizes what a cool person he is, and how much I love him -- and I'm worried sick about him right now. So send some happy thoughts or something his way, he needs them.