Fun, fun weekend. Much needed, what with work being all stressful, and the quitting smoking thing (I tried to stop cold last week, which didn't work -- I haven't been on the happy pills long enough. So I caved and bought a pack on Saturday. Feh.)
Friday night -- utterly dull. Hung around the house waiting for a grocery delivery, talked on the phone with a friend I haven't seen in ages, watched TV, went to sleep. Because that's the wild life I lead.
Saturday, I loafed around the house and read a book all day. I found the perfect reading spot -- in the living room, in to corner by the windows. The light is perfect, there's a coffee table to rest your feet and a beverage on, and usually a cat or two sleeping nearby. Unfortunately, both chairs are horribly uncomfortable, so the Saturday read-fest was hampered by wishes for a better chair. Saturday night was Patrick's play, with Lee and Saundra! I was terribly excited to meet her, and very, very nervous ("What if she hates me? What if she thinks I'm an idiot?") She's one of the coolest, most fun people I've ever met. We got along excellently (and if she thought I was an idiot, she didn't let it show) and it was very nice to have someone to smoke with, in the freezing cold.
Patrick's show was excellent -- I wished I'd been able to see the play Friday night too (which I could have, if not for my own stupid planning). All of the actors were good, and Patrick was deliciously villianous. He was right when he described it as a Show of Asses, though -- it wasn't so bad from where we were sitting, but the people on the other side of the theatre were treated to up close and personal views of the actors' asses all through the show.
We tagged along to the cast party afterward (except for Lee, who went home in spite of -- or perhaps because of Saundra and I whining, loudly and in stereo, at her to come to the party too.) It was more fun than I'd expected -- being a non-theatre person, I was worried that I'd feel out of place. But everyone was very friendly -- it was amusing when people would strike up conversations with me, assuming I'd had something to do with the show. They'd obviously be wracking their brains, trying to figure out who I was and what I'd done -- I got a lot of "So... what did you do again?" type questions. Hey, sitting in the audience is important, right?
Sunday, I cajoled Lee out of the house for some shopping -- I desperately needed new jeans, and I certainly needed a new book (The Lord of the Rings Trilogy in one volume -- the paperback, though I was drooling over the lovely, illustrated hardcover edition. I didn't have $70 to spend, though. I have hardcover copies of all three books, but they're very old, and since my brother and I both read them over and over when we were kids, the binding is in sad shape. I'm afraid to reread them, for fear that they'll fall apart completely.) Friday night, Patrick and Muppetgirl came over to Lee's, and we all headed out to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, which MuppetGirl hadn't seen yet. Just as good the second time, in spite of the audience being filled with people who would not shut up. I would have told the incessantly-yapping kids behind me to can it, but since everyone else in the theater felt compelled to blab through the whole film, it hardly seemed worth it.
Today, even though it's a holiday, I'm at work...
I started taking the Wellbutrin on Friday, and man, does it make me giddy. I took the first pill Friday morning, and within an hour, I felt like I'd just chugged three cups of coffee. It's nice to be so energetic in the morning (usually I'm falling asleep on the T) but when it wore off around midday, I felt like crap. I kept having dizzy spells (at one point I was sure I was going to faint) and I just wanted to lie down and take a nap. I ended up going home early, feeling very glad that I had the weekend to adjust to this stuff. Right now, I'm only taking it once a day -- tomorrow I start taking it twice daily. The side effects are getting a little less noticible, and the cigarette cravings are weaker. I'm still smoking -- the doctor told me not to even try to cut back until I'd been on the medication for a week or so, and to just let it happen without forcing it. I am trying to smoke only when I really, really want a cigarette, instead of just lighting up when I'm bored (which I do at home -- if I'm just sitting and watching TV or reading, I chain smoke. I think that's going to be the hardest habit to break). Yesterday, while curled up on my bed watching Fight Club (which, incidentally, bored the socks off me -- probably because I'd read the novel, and knew the ending.) I tried to make myself wait at least an hour between cigarettes, and it was harder than I'd expected it to be. But I keep reminding myself to give it time, and it'll happen... and hey, at least I'm in a really good mood about the wole thing!
At the moment, I'm at school -- I'm supposed to be meeting with some classmates, to work on a group project, and I flaked out and thought we were meeting at noon, instead of at one o'clock. So I'm here very early, sitting in a little basement common area, playing on one of the cute little blue iMacs. It's deathly quiet, which is making me sleepy. The cafeteria isn't open, which annoys me because I'm realy hungry, and have a wild craving for a cheeseburger. And now, since it's almost one, I'm off to get some work done -- may as well be productive as long as I'm here!
... but I'll explain that in a minute. At the moment, it is storming like mad outside -- snow and wind and rainy slushy stuff, and sleet that felt like hundreds of teeny needles puncturing my face when I left work this evening. Ick. I was supposed to have a therapy appointment tonight, but I cancelled it -- I didn't fancy trudging around downtown Boston in this weather.
No updates in ages, I know -- thanks to all of you who wrote nice emails after that last one. It was a bit of a downer, I know, but I'm really okay. The dad stuff doesn't bother me often anymore -- it's not like any of it is a new thing, after all. It was just weighing on my mind...
Busy doesn't begin to describe me lately. The semester has started, which means I have 8 million things to do at work, and not enough time to get them done. I'd like to say that being so crazed makes the day go by faster, but you know, it doesn't. I scramble around like a loony, claw my way through a pile of work, and look at the clock... and only half an hour has passed, while I feel like I've been working for several hours straight. No fun. Today was brightened by some harmless flirtation with a guy who works for the Economics department (I think...) He's terribly cute, and much fun to goof around with. (On a side note -- I'm debating asking a former coworker out. Oooh, I just realized -- that former coworker knows about my journal, and may well read it. Ahem. The thing is, I don't know whether I should or not, or how to do it without things getting weird if -- when -- he says no. Suggestions?)
We also hired a new person -- hurrah! She's very nice, and is learning the job quickly. I'll get to go back to a somewhat normal schedule soon -- the extra hours weren't much at first, but I'd like to get home before bedtime on occasion.
And the title... well, I sort of told Lee I'd think about quitting smoking. And now I'm telling all of you, so if I don't quit, you can mock me, and nag me, and hit me with sticks. I have a doctor's appointment Thursday afternoon, to see about going on Wellbutrin. I know a few people who quit that way, and they said it worked really well. They said, after a few days, they just didn't feel like smoking, and they hardly even noticed it. That sounds heavenly to me... but still, I will expect much ecouragement, and pats on the head, and cookies, and other such rewards, as this is going to be no fun at all. But I said I'd do it, dammit, and I'm at least going to give it a good hard try. Until Thursday, I am unabashedly smoking whenever the mood strikes me, though...