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March 02, 2001

Further evidence that I am an idiot.

No, really. Dumb as a post, that's me. Last night should offer very convincing proof. I'm trying to tell myself that it all happened because I was tired, and distracted because of the drama that is Survivor, but really, I'm just a moron.

I had class last night, and it was possibly the most boring three hours of my life. Basically, we sat and watched the instructor do searches on a database. Three hours. They weren't even intersting searches. The boredom was painful. After class, I straggled home, and watched Survivor, and decided to get ready for bed at around 11:30 or so. You know I'm taking the Wellbutrin, right? I'm also taking melatonin at night, since I have trouble falling asleep most nights. The doctor had assured me it was fine to take both, so I wasn't really worried about it. The problem is, on a few occasions, I've caught myself reaching for the Wellbutrin bottle instead of the melatonin at night. So, last night, I got ready for bed, and took the melatonin, and went off to bed. About twenty minutes later, as I was lying in bed petting the cat, I started feeling dizzy -- very disconcerting when you're lying down, unless you're drunk, of course. I sat up, and got much dizzier, and felt like I was going to faint. I got up, and turned on the light (feeling sick isn't quite as scary with the lights on, you know) and sat on the bed for a few minutes, trying to clear my head and figure out what was wrong... Wait a minute... did I take the wrong pill? I couldn't remember -- I thought I'd taken the melatonin, but I could easily have grabbed the wrong bottle. I kept feeling worse -- and was fairly scared, too -- so I figured the best thing might be to, er, try to get rid of the pill. You really don't need details of that, do you? That done, I went back to bed, in hopes that the dizziness would pass. It didn't -- it got worse, and I got all shaky and cold. About that point, I called the poison control center, and explained to the very nice woman who answered that I was a moron who had likely taken an extra dose of Wellbutrin. She told me I was even more of an idiot for making myself throw up (oh, I wasn't going to gross you out with that... sorry...) because that would only make things worse. She did assure me that I wasn't going to die, but that there was a good chance that I might have a seizure. Oh, joy. She asked if I was home alone, and I told her the cat was home with me -- she wasn't amused, really. I told her I did have someone to call if I felt worse, and she told me to go back to bed, and pet my cat until I fell asleep. I tried that, but it's hard to sleep when you're afraid you might have a seizure, you know? I finally fell asleep at around 4, woke up briefly to call in sick to work at 6, and slept until the downstairs neighbor's stereo woke me up at 8:30. I'm fine now, I didn't die or anything -- I'm just a dumbass. Really, I should be supervised at all times.

Today has been an okay day off -- I got an unexpected phone call from a friend in England -- one of Barry's friends, in fact. I don't know whether they're still in touch, and I don't really want to know. I'm really happy that we have stayed friends -- in fact, we're closer now that Barry and I are divorced. I spent the afternoon wandering around downtown Boston, getting some errands done.

I also found out that my brother is having a really rough time right now -- I'm scared for him, because he's just so down, and there's nothing I can do. He's too far away to visit, and a phone call doesn't do a lot. I don't think he realizes what a cool person he is, and how much I love him -- and I'm worried sick about him right now. So send some happy thoughts or something his way, he needs them.

Posted by Mary Ellen at March 2, 2001 05:52 PM

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