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July 13, 2000
Still more randomness...
A random day... I'm all edgy and nervous. In a good way, though. Just for the hell of it, I posted a personal ad. I wanted to see what would happen... and I've been told it can be a real ego boost -- unless, of course, no one replies to it. That's kind of what I expected to happen, but this morning I had a dozen responses. Some of them were from people I have nothing in common with, a couple were from guys who just sounded sleazy (they made a point of saying how sensual they are... that makes me nervous) but a few were from guys who sounded pretty cool. Now I don't know what to do -- I've emailed a couple back, but part of me is thinking "Yikes!" Any suggestions?
I really am just a big wuss about meeting people. My automatic assumption is that they won't like me anyway -- I'm not attractive, or witty, or well-travelled, or anything terribly memorable at all. I generally just clam up completely when I meet someone, especially if I like them. Email is probably the best way for me to get to know someone -- I talk a lot more that way. My therapist (I just get a kick out of saying that) told me that personal ads were probably a good way for me to get started meeting new people, because it puts me more in control. It's also nerve-wracking... those of you who have had success with it -- how did you do it? How did you weed out the good ones from the not-so-good?
I got up the courage to hold Beth's boyfriend's pet snake last night -- it's a ball python. I don't mind snakes -- I am deathly afraid of spiders, and I hate bugs in almost all forms, but snakes have never bothered me. I have never really held one before. It's relatively small, for a python. It was cool -- it wrapped its lower half around my wrist, and sort of stood up and checked me out -- flicking its tongue over my arms and face, nuzzling at my hair a little, then looking around the room. It was a little unnerving feeling it gripping my wrist, and I did not like it when it started heading up my arm toward my neck, but other than that, it was interesting. When I talked to it, it stopped moving around and looked at me, as though it was listening. The cats were all far too interested in it, though. And I had to leave the room when Beth's boyfriend put a mouse in the tank for the snake's supper -- I know, I know, a snake's gotta eat, but I like mice, and I felt sorry for it. The snake wouldn't touch it though -- Beth says it hasn't eaten a mouse in the two months they have had it, but I prefer to think it was because I leaned over the tank and said, very firmly, "Don't eat that mouse! Leave that mouse alone!"
I'm in a very random sort of mood today. Mood swings from hell. Hyper one minute, fatigued the next. I think I just need more sleep.
Posted by Mary Ellen at July 13, 2000 03:25 PM