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May 30, 2000
I fucking hate moving.
I hate moving. Hate packing, hate lugging boxes (or, in this case, trash bags) up and down stairs. Hate the people at U-Haul. Hate being in a new place.
The move itself went fine. The only major problem was my box spring (box springs? Is it plural?) which is too big to fit up the stairs. My lovely, wonderful volunteers struggled with it for quite a while, while I paced outside and swore under my breath, before we finally gave up on it. It's still in the lobby of the building, propped against the wall, where it will remain until the people from the furniture store come and get it on Friday. They're exchanging it for a split box spring, and throwing in a bed frame, which should make things easier. Meantime, I'm sleeping on a mattress on the floor, right where the cat can leap off the windowsill directly onto my head. She's not happy about the move either -- my new roommate has two cats, and Smoke is pissed as hell about it. Zoe, the more aggressive of the two, keeps trying to get into Smoke's face. I think he thinks they're playing, but Smoke's having none of it. Tucker, the other cat, really just wants to be friends, and spends hours sitting just outside my door looking sad, because Smoke hisses and growls at him. I left my door open when I went to work today -- if they fight, they fight. They'll need to hash it out sooner or later. I'm hoping for sooner -- I don't like keeping Smoke cooped up in my room all night, because she gets bored and restless and wakes me up. I don't want to keep her if it means she's always crabby and on edge, so I do have a home lined up for her, if she doesn't adjust.
My mom also got a flat tire on our way to return the U-Haul van. She pulled over to let my brother (who was following us, driving the van) catch up, and as she pulled out, she hit the curb and tore a chunk out of her tire. My poor brother got to change it, after lugging all the heavy stuff up two flights of stairs, and wrestling with the stupid box spring.
I am fairly settled in -- I like my roommate, Beth, very much. She's friendly and funny, and very easy to talk to. Her boyfriend lives there, too, for the time being, but he's very quiet and unobtrusive. I try to ignore the lovey affectionate stuff that goes on, but it's hard -- I generally just go to my room and hug the cat. I thought I was prepared, see -- Sunday morning Beth and I went to Bradlee's to buy house stuff. We were having fun, talking, laughing, and on the way home, we drove past Barry, walking down the street holding hands with his girlfriend. I knew she had been there with him Saturday night, after I moved out. I thought I could handle it -- I kept telling myself "You only live four blocks from him. You're bound to run into him from time to time. And you know he's still seeing someone else. Deal with it." And when I saw them, I thought I was okay, until I tried to get out of the car. My knees wouldn't seem to work. My hands were shaking so badly I couldn't get my keys out of my bag. Beth kept asking if I was okay, and saying she was sorry...
I don't understand how, after four years with someone, four good years, by and large, how you could just replace that person so quickly. How you could just move on, without seeming to feel anything, any grief, and pain. I don't want to get back together with him, ever. So it's a little easier for me. But I find it hard to believe that our relationship meant anything at all, if he can just replace me so quickly.
Enough wallowing, at least for now. Thank you for all the book recommendations. I'm making a list, which I'm sure I'll be plowing through over the next few months. I went to Barnes & Noble with Lee yesterday, after an unsuccessful attempt to see Gladiator. (We forgot it was a holiday, and all the matinee showings were sold out) and bought four books -- Mary Stewart's Merlin saga. My mom owns them, and both she and my brother both love them. I have never read them, though I've always meant to. So I figured, what better time to pick them up?
Keep sending recommendations, though -- the list keeps growing, and that's a good thing. Plus it's cool to find out what kind of books you guys like to read.
Posted by Mary Ellen at May 30, 2000 10:15 PM