Smoke and Mirrors

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April 07, 2000

I'm a Sleepy Sluggish Crazy Cat Lady.

I can't keep my eyes open. I could crawl under my desk, curl up, and sleep happily until tomorrow. I slept pretty well last night, so I don't know what's the matter with me today. It's always very hot and stuffy in here, so maybe that's it.

Caoimhe is my JournalProm date! Neither of us is really sure what the JournalProm entails, but I'm sure it'll be fun. I hated both proms I went to in high school, so I'd like to have at least one fun one.

My cat thinks I'm abusive. (Oh, I really am turning into Crazy Cat Lady, aren't I? Sorry...) See, we bought the new furniture. And Smoke really likes to scratch the couch. We didn't mind her clawing the old nasty couch, but the new one is way too nice. I really didn't want to have her declawed -- it's not a very nice procedure to begin with, and she's 4 years old. I would have considered it if she were a kitten who would heal up and forget about it quickly. (And in case that offended anybody, let me just say that yes, declawing is not very nice. But all of the cats I had growing up were declawed as kittens, and within a day or two, they were up and running around, and acting just the same as before. And we never let our cats outside, so defense wasn't an issue. I'm just saying.) So I ordered these little acrylic caps for her claws. They come in different colors, and you glue them over the cat's claws, so they can't do any damage. It doesn't hurt, and they can still retract their claws and all. And they're cheap enough that I figured it was worth a try.

The package was waiting for me when I got home last night. Smoke's always very happy when I get home from work, so I grabbed her in mid-happy dance. She was okay for a few minutes -- all purring and thinking "Hey! I'm gettin' petted! Happy! Happy cat!" Until I got the first cap glued on. Then she was all "What the HELL?!?" and turned into a ball of eight of nine furiously kicking hind legs and eight hundred chomping teeth. I had to wrap her in my denim jacket to keep her still, and even then it took me twenty minutes to get the rest of the little buggers glued on. I think I had her pinned with my leg in some sort of wrestling move at one point. And I glued a couple of the caps to the ends of my own fingers. I was worrying about what the neighbors must have been thinking -- I had the kitchen window open, and I could hear them outside, so I'm sure they could hear me... "Hold still. Hold STILL. HOLD STILL!!! This isn't hurting you! Ow! Ow! OW! OWOWOW!! Let go of that. Damn it! Ouch! Hold STILL! Give me that paw. $#@&*%$#!!! OW! WILL YOU HOLD STILL! Stop biting me. Stop biting me! Ow! Hold still! There, that's one done. Was that really so bad? OW! No! No! Hold still! Quit that! Ow! Oh damn, it's stuck to my finger. Quit that. OW!"

Smoke does look pretty cute with her hip blue nails, though. And from now on, I only have to apply a new one when an old one falls off (which happens when the claws grow out) so it shouldn't be too traumatic...

In the next few weeks, we will be moving, and I'll be taking the poor cat in for her shots, and putting a collar and tag on her... she's just going to hate me.

Posted by Mary Ellen at April 7, 2000 01:34 PM

Comments

Posted by: sumair at August 7, 2003 12:02 AM

Posted by: Mary Ellen at August 7, 2003 08:15 AM